“There is a
voice of rebellion deep in the heart of the wicked; there is no fear of God
before his eyes.” That’s how the Book of
Common Prayer renders Psalm 36:1. (Pardon
the gender exclusive language!)
I find that
voice of rebellion within myself. How
often during prayer do I refuse the call to go deeper? Too often, I fear. Much too often.
It’s
insane. And it is wicked—it actually
does speak of a lack of fear, a lack of reverence, of God. “I do not do the good I
want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.” I deprive myself and I deprive others of what
I could be. I turn instead to the “monkey
mind.” I’m thinking about everything in
the world… Wait, I need to write that
down… I need to fidget with that object
on the table… Who’s that walking
outside?
Anything
but where and when and how I am. The
present.
But
the psalmist makes a discovery. In verse
9, the psalmist realizes. “For with you
is the well of life, and in your light we see light.”